41. Will a Baby Ruin Your Relationship/Life?

Photo: Carole Itter and Taki Bluesinger, 1974.

Episode 41- How does having a baby affect your relationship with your partner, friends and self? Most moms heading into parenthood can not comprehend the enormous change that is awaiting them, as all their energy previously available for other things will be now laser focused on caring for a new, precious life. In this episode, Jenna and Amber get real with their own stories about how life changed after baby, with special attention given to how the baby zone shifted the dynamic within their partnerships.

Show Notes

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.DEFINITION of WILL BABY RUIN MY LIFE/RELATIONSHIP?: When you are in a solid relationship and you want a child, but you don't know if this decision means sacrificing the bliss of your coupledom and the bliss of living a life that is free (your freedom)

MAIN POINTS:

• Having a baby can either bond partners together stronger or can also cause issues in the relationship due to the tensions of new parenthood.
• After having your first baby, both partners are going through major transitions into parenthood and the deaths of their old selves. Hear Amber and Jenna's "maiden to mother" stories in this podcast
• Before baby: work on great communication skills, get on the same page about how your going to parent (sleep, food, vaccines etc.), and figure out a plan for both partners to continue self care rituals.
• Remember that no matter how well you plan, all plans can go out the window when the baby is born, so be flexible.
• Communication skills are key for strong partnerships after baby, along with conflict resolution tactics.
• Sleep deprivation will push you to the edge. Expect it.
• Every baby is different, with different degrees of difficulty, and you never know what you are going to get.
• Hear Amber and Jenna's personal stories about new motherhood, and how it affected our partnerships.
• Before baby, all your energy goes to your own life and worshiping your partner, but after baby, both partner's energy get focused on the baby instead of each other. This can be jarring.
• Self care for mamas is CRUCIAL! Listen to our episode on Self Care here.
• Partnership is really important, because a strong partnership lays a strong foundation for baby and the family you are creating.

Check out this book for a six-step plan for preserving marital intimacy and rekindling romance after baby arrives

​C​HALLENGE/INVITATION: If you do not yet have a child, sit down with your partner and begin to hash out sleep schedule, self care rituals and communication skills for after baby comes. If you are already a parent, put your relationship as a priority and go to therapy if necessary to reestablish healthier patterns in your life. Embrace the grittiness and ask for the help you need.

TELL US EVERYTHING about your experiences with life after baby! What changed for you? How did you cope? Let us know in the comments!