Killing Ourselves with Comparisons

By Jenna Pennrose, Image by Koto Bolofo (Harper's Bazaar UK) 

Do you find yourself scrolling down your insta feed comparing your babies to others and feeling horrible? This cycle of destruction must stop!
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​One of the roots of lingering unhappiness among parents is found in the practice of comparing ourselves to other people. Never has this been worse than in our current age of social media. It is so depressing to see someone else’s life that looks better, easier, or more beautiful than yours. Just remember if this happens to you that this is a negative ego response, and our egos must be curbed in order to embody our higher-selves and be of service to the planet. Every baby is different, every mama is different, every family is different, every situation is different. All are of equal value and should be approached with compassion… and the person who each should have the most compassion for is oneself.

We have all read the online parenting forums, like BabyCenter, at some point. In my opinion, a lot of moms out there posting have no idea of what is really going on on this planet… talking like they know what is right for everyone else’s baby. This is how wrong ideas are perpetuated. As a spiritual being, you sometimes have to be a trailblazer and use your intuition and sense of resonance to find your own path. If mommy groups online are hounding others doing things like you do (i.e. co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding or not following a strict vaccination schedule), then you are probably doing something right because it means you are thinking for yourself.

Do not compare your parenting journey to anyone else’s. Just like every pregnancy is different, every baby is different and needs to be treated as a unique individual. Every baby comes into this current incarnation with a rich soul history and connectedness to universal love. Depending on their experiences in previous lifetimes, each individual will come in with different personalities, likes/dislikes, talents, and things to overcome.

My two babies are like night and day from each other. One was fussy all day, never does what you ask, never slept, hated confined spaces, screamed in the car seat, won’t eat veggies. The other is rarely fussy (knock on wood), does just what you want most of the time, sleeps great, loves the car seat, and will hopefully be chewing on broccoli and peas before too long. My point is that I was the same, unconditionally loving mother both times. I let them be themselves both times, and their behavior has been completely different. They are who they are. Each baby is an individual who can’t be compared.

Our job as parents is to recognize, appreciate and embrace our children's individuality and use our intuition in the moment to tailor certain choices to support their needs. Trust that "this too shall pass" and each phase of development is constantly changing.And the same goes with self judgement, if you are struggling with your negative inner critic, then perhaps this is your indication that you need more Self Love and to accept your own brilliance and unique self fully. Check out our article Seven Tips To Cultivating Self Love. for more on this.

 Go deep within to find your authentic self, and then actualize it. Follow the strange drumbeat of your intuition. Feel empowered to be you and love your authentic self and your children’s authentic selves unconditionally. Do not compare your child or parenting journey to anybody else’s that you see online, they could never know what is right for you or your precious, tiny humans.

Do you find yourself comparing your kid to others? Is this helpful? Let us know in the comments!