Arista Ilona/Los Angeles/30
Mother/Talent Operations Coordinator @ Apple Music/Creator of Divine Modern Motherhood- a self love platform for mamas.
Name and ages of your children?
Aiya Rose, two
What is your name selecting approach?
I waited until she arrived to feel her spirit and then her father suggested her name and I looked up the definition and it said "miracle" and felt it resonated deeply after my 72 hours in labor at home turning into a c-section
What is your definition of a crushable Mama?
A crushable mama is someone who unapologetically stands in her truth and follows her own rules in motherhood
What is the most rewarding thing about motherhood?
Seeing my daughter bloom into her own person and for myself, growing on a deep level as a woman
What is the most challenging aspect of motherhood?
Mama guilt and the pressure to have it all figured out and keep it all together, almost as if as mothers we need to be perfect
Where has motherhood pushed you to grow the most?
In speaking my truth and having clarity around what I value/desire in life
What are your top 3 best tips for a new mama?
Follow your Inner Knowing and ditch the "rules"
Connect with other mamas and build your tribe of support
Make YOU time a priority
What are your family rituals?
I love showing Aiya how to connect with herself. When we wake I do a short mediation and at the end of the day we rub essential oil on the soles of her feet and sage to cleanse. I also love to dance it out so when mama is not feeling 100% we blast music and have a dance party
What is your parenting philosophy/approach? Please elaborate.
Following my instincts and a gentle parenting approach. I honestly have skimmed through the conscious parenting book and read some unconventional parenting blogs but it all has come down to what I feel in that moment with three things as my intention:
What has been your biggest surprise about motherhood?
The call to deep inner healing, facing my inner child wounds and fears around worthiness and being enough.
What is your approach to food and raising a child?
Organic as much as possible! Finding ways to get her excited about food by involving her in the cooking process.
Raising a child takes a village, my approach is keeping my tribe close to me and my mama community in tact so that I am supported though the challenging moments and know that I am not alone.
What is your approach to disciplining your child?
Gentle discipline. I recently came across a book called drama free discipline and it has a workbook. It focused on understanding were your little one is at on a deeper level versus resorting to "time out" or spanking them. My approach is about respecting her as a soul having a human experience and guiding her from my heart. Getting down on her level, making eye contact, speaking calmly and holding space for her when she is in her moment of emotional expression. It is about releasing judgement or expectation around how I want her to act and instead creating a solid foundation to build trust through connection and compassion
4 tips to finding balance in motherhood?
1. Remember Self-love isn't selfish
2. Don't be afraid to ask for help
3. Find a ritual that speaks to you ex: dance in your home, deep breathing while driving, mediation at night
4. Become a part of a mama community
Your top 4 lessons you wish to instill in your child?
1. Everything is purposeful
2. Don't forget who you are
3. Happiness isn't something you "get" its something you "feel"
4. Success isn't about money, its about aligning with your passions
What are you letting go of?
What are you calling in?
Check out Arista's website for upcoming workshops or events!!!
We were lucky enough to interview Arista on "Excepting The Unexpected birth", join the conversation!!